Wednesday, February 6, 2008

In Estrangement

As a child you are born into a world to which you are a stranger.
Then little by little, you get used to some of the things in it... Your parents, your house, your friends, your country, your religion and others belonging to it... etc.
You relate to those things & begin identifying yourself as being a part of them.

then at some point, this might start slipping away.
You may begin to feel that things are changing, or it may be that you are changing and with you your perception of these things.
Which of them is true is not relevant, indeed anything may be true for all you care. In all cases you & those things start drifting apart.

For instance, you might begin to realise you don't really belong to this country. And although you may still inhabit it, it may seem to have been taken over by people quite different from yourself, and they've changed it so much it's no longer safe to you & your kind.
At this point consider yourself blessed, you still have your kind (whatever that is) to relate to.

Then after a while you may come to another realisation, you don't belong to this system of belief.
It is no longer safe to trust it nor to trust their teachings on it. No longer safe to trust them.
And you may or may not notice how "them" starts with a few people, then the list keeps growing until "them" becomes a generic word that includes almost everyone. Almost... except a precious few.
At this point do not consider yourself cursed yet, you still have those precious few (whoever they are) to relate to.

But who knows how far will this illness drag you away...
Who knows what else or who else will you become estranged to.
Maybe even your own thoughts would start to sound strange & unfimiliar, no longer resounding in your mind.

Maybe it will keep happening until there is nothing left for it to happen to.

And then you might just look around and find that no matter where you are, you are a complete stranger.

2 comments:

  1. There are always constant things you grew up with and feel familiar to.
    There is the sun thats shines every morning radiating the same warmth, same hope and the same light.
    There is the same God "with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning". The God whom your soul is part of His, so you can always relate to.
    There is the same love, no matter if it changed in the form, quantity or the persons receiving. It's always the love that makes your heart glowing with thousands of candles, the love that gives, the love that makes you simply content.
    There are alot of things that you can relate to and feel familiar with if you took a chance and noticed them.
    I love you always

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  2. Kiara, i guess the problem is in the perception, not the change of things, the sun u mentioned, i know its the same, but where i am, the sun is a strange, abnormal thing, it doesn't always shine, and when it does its just a lamp in the sky, no warmth or hope and barely any light.
    With God its worse, if a meter is a meter then the implicit joke is its 100 cm's, change that, change the meter, but oh yeah, let's never forget there's a ruler somewhere in france that tellls us exactly how long the meter is!! and may God bless this ruler evermore for the day it blows up we might as well flush the world (or at least the part that uses the meter !!) away. but there's no ruler for God, God is a matter of perception, God never changes, but the only fact we can rely on is that we'll never know FOR SURE in this life what he really is, only our perception.
    but, Firestone, how can your ideas become strange to u? a madman doesn't know he's mad, i think the day u feel a stranger everywhere, u'd (at the very least) still have yourself to belong to, that u know u're right, even if everyone tells u otherwise.

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