First of all, I apologise for the long entry.
I will start near the end of the psalm, for that is what I noticed first, & that is what explained the rest to me.
I may say:
"I am a sinner, I thought i was getting better, but I'm not & now I feel lonely as hell (well, hell is a very lonely place, so the figure of speach holds), because the only thing keeping that feeling away from me here is me feeling God's presence. now, I know he's gone nowhere & I know it's my failing, but i feel lonely & poor nevertheless."
Regarding this, this is how God responds in action:
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
Now, why would God do that? Why would he repay a sinner with protection?
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
Because we cry for him!
& here we can go back a little in the psalm.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
Because of Faith... Faith in His goodness & forgiveness & Love that is unfailing, that means it is unconditional.... so it never fails, not because of anything. as opposed to being too proud to accept it on oneself.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
The reason God will save him, is that he cried out to Him, stepping on his shame in the process, he actually asks God to not leave him to his shame (guilt), on the other hand the dead are too ashamed to call on God, that is why the dead are silent.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
If they ever speak (the dead) it is to spread their depression & faithlessness, which actually stems from Pride, for that is why we do not cry out to God, too ashamed of ourselves, that is Pride, & it is the seal on all sin. Also, Man's Pride makes him think so highly of himself that he cannot imagine a being of greater goodness who will actually treat him better than he would treat himself. He projects his own weakness & wickedness on God.
But...
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
God is actually good, unlike the fallen man, so He puts this goodness of His on Man, if only Man would take refuge in Him.
But why do we trust in this? well, earlier in the psalm we find this
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
Because God knows this pain, he felt it himself, on the cross, & after He united himself with the human race, he now feels our pain through his Son who became one with humans through being born as a human & through communion. (we complete Jesus's pain with ours, he experiences our pain with us)
So he decided not to give up on us (hand us over) & leave us to the devil, instead he freed us.
So because of that you can complain to Him in details & know that he'll understand.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
At least if we speak of the Cross... this next passage can be taken to describe Jesus's state during trial & crucifixion, how his crime was their hatred of him (!), their lies against him were the reason people didn't take his side, & he was deemed a lost cause, a dead man, even by his deciples..
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
9-13 is a blend of my own feelings of my pain, & Jesus's feelings of His, & it's great to see how He mixed them together to be able to say "I understand how you feel, I've been there" although of course, He drank of that cup much deeper than any of us
So if we read the first part of the Psalm again, in the light of what we've just said...
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
God delivers us because He is righteous, no other reason... & what he mainly delivers us from is shame.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
I believe the idols are ourselves, we worship ourselves, Pride again.
We trust in our own judgment on ourselves, though it be death, more than we trust that God can actually be more righteous & merciful & loving (Just or Righteous = makes things right again, & Mercy = great intimate love, as St. Clement of Alexandria says, they are actually the same thing)
By the way, 22 proves that God is still here when I sin, for how else can he hear my cry fo help.
Similarly, the very fact that I wrote all this & saw it in a time where I felt seperated from God & cursed, means that I wasn't! because I couldn't have seen any of this without him showing me.
So I smile & sing:
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
I will start near the end of the psalm, for that is what I noticed first, & that is what explained the rest to me.
I may say:
"I am a sinner, I thought i was getting better, but I'm not & now I feel lonely as hell (well, hell is a very lonely place, so the figure of speach holds), because the only thing keeping that feeling away from me here is me feeling God's presence. now, I know he's gone nowhere & I know it's my failing, but i feel lonely & poor nevertheless."
Regarding this, this is how God responds in action:
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
22 In my alarm I said,
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
Now, why would God do that? Why would he repay a sinner with protection?
23 Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
Because we cry for him!
& here we can go back a little in the psalm.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
Because of Faith... Faith in His goodness & forgiveness & Love that is unfailing, that means it is unconditional.... so it never fails, not because of anything. as opposed to being too proud to accept it on oneself.
17 Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave.
The reason God will save him, is that he cried out to Him, stepping on his shame in the process, he actually asks God to not leave him to his shame (guilt), on the other hand the dead are too ashamed to call on God, that is why the dead are silent.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
If they ever speak (the dead) it is to spread their depression & faithlessness, which actually stems from Pride, for that is why we do not cry out to God, too ashamed of ourselves, that is Pride, & it is the seal on all sin. Also, Man's Pride makes him think so highly of himself that he cannot imagine a being of greater goodness who will actually treat him better than he would treat himself. He projects his own weakness & wickedness on God.
But...
19 How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
God is actually good, unlike the fallen man, so He puts this goodness of His on Man, if only Man would take refuge in Him.
But why do we trust in this? well, earlier in the psalm we find this
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
Because God knows this pain, he felt it himself, on the cross, & after He united himself with the human race, he now feels our pain through his Son who became one with humans through being born as a human & through communion. (we complete Jesus's pain with ours, he experiences our pain with us)
So he decided not to give up on us (hand us over) & leave us to the devil, instead he freed us.
So because of that you can complain to Him in details & know that he'll understand.
9 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
At least if we speak of the Cross... this next passage can be taken to describe Jesus's state during trial & crucifixion, how his crime was their hatred of him (!), their lies against him were the reason people didn't take his side, & he was deemed a lost cause, a dead man, even by his deciples..
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
9-13 is a blend of my own feelings of my pain, & Jesus's feelings of His, & it's great to see how He mixed them together to be able to say "I understand how you feel, I've been there" although of course, He drank of that cup much deeper than any of us
So if we read the first part of the Psalm again, in the light of what we've just said...
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
God delivers us because He is righteous, no other reason... & what he mainly delivers us from is shame.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.
I believe the idols are ourselves, we worship ourselves, Pride again.
We trust in our own judgment on ourselves, though it be death, more than we trust that God can actually be more righteous & merciful & loving (Just or Righteous = makes things right again, & Mercy = great intimate love, as St. Clement of Alexandria says, they are actually the same thing)
By the way, 22 proves that God is still here when I sin, for how else can he hear my cry fo help.
Similarly, the very fact that I wrote all this & saw it in a time where I felt seperated from God & cursed, means that I wasn't! because I couldn't have seen any of this without him showing me.
So I smile & sing:
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
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