A friend bought me a book as a birthday gift, and told me she wasn't so sure what types of books I read, so she wanted me to swap that book for another from the bookstore if I didn't feel I was going to like it.
The book was entitled "The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them"
This was written on the back (I took the liberty to write a few thoughts in-line):
Why is it that despite our best efforts, many of us remain fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled in our lives? (excellent question) In this provocative and inspiring book, David Richo distills thirty years of experience as a therapist (oh-ooh...) to explain the underlying roots of unhappiness—and the surprising secret to finding freedom and fulfillment. (ok, this phrase is usually never followed by anything good)
There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable "givens" of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, (huh?!) we can find liberation and discover the true richness (!!!) that life has to offer. Blending Western psychology and Eastern spirituality (not again! that cash-cow that I thought was milked for all its worth), including practical exercises, Richo shows us how to open up to our lives—including to what is frightening, painful, or disappointing—and discover our greatest gifts.
Well, needless to say, I swapped the book! (for Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book", btw)
But nevertheless, I really want to talk about that "Product Description" I quoted above.
I didn't read the book, so I can't judge it well, but I'd like to judge the nonesense written on the back!
Let's start with "dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens"...
I'm one of those people who believe that a universal deep-seated resistance to something means -in most cases- that this thing ought to be resisted!
When I tried to reduce each phrase of those "Five Things" to one word, it became a bit clearer:
(1) is Death, (2) is failure (or bracing yourself for it, expecting it), (3) is Injustice, (4) is Pain and (5) is Hatred (or at least, lack of love)
Now shouldn't these things be resisted?
Resisting (1) keeps us all alive, resisting (2) keeps all actions motivated, resisting (3) made us come up with Laws and Rights, resisting (4) made us come up with medicine (and got us all closer together), and resisting (5) promoted Love, families, friendships... Things we simply cannot do without!
And the first time I read the list of the "Five Things", I managed to find a common factor: That those things do not exist in most religions' description of Heaven, and their non-existence is actually emphasized on in Christianity.
I take that (with my Faith into account) to mean that we should resist those so-called "givens" of life.
And should work against them, rather than accepting them with the serenity of a dead man!
In fighting them, we have a better life.
And in our version of the afterlife, we win the fight!
So I wouldn't get too used to them,
they're going to change.
